32 Keys About Life - Day 22 Revenge

Author: Ken N McIsaac

Revenge

Each time that someone inflicts physical or emotional pain upon us there is usually a natural reaction to attack back. While this can give some much needed satisfaction, it is not an open and shut case.

There are different kinds of hurt - harsh or mild, intentional or accidental, apparently justified or not. Sometimes the perpetrator is emotionally ill or extremely stressed and unaware of the seriousness of the incident, perhaps feeling very much worse than you do. Imagine that the positions are switched for a different perspective on the situation.

“It’s hard to have one’s watch stolen, but one reflects that the thief of the watch became a thief from causes of heredity and environment which are as interesting as they are scientifically comprehensible; and one buys another watch, if not with joy, at any rate with a philosophy that makes bitterness impossible.” - Arnold Bennett (1867-1931)

It is worth considering the aftermath of revenge. How do you feel now, better or worse? How does the other person feel? Was your reaction too strong or harmful? Perhaps you feel bad and regret it altogether? Could a little discussion have avoided the incident?

“To be wronged or robbed is nothing unless you continue to remember it.” - Confucius (BC)

It may seem very stupid to turn the other cheek when we have been hurt, and often it is. However, we should review the situation and consider the facts and effects. Who is being harmed by our anger and retaliation? If we cause ourselves more grief when we try to get even, isn’t this another reason to at least review our actions?

“He who seeks revenge should remember to dig two graves.” - Chinese proverb

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32 Keys About Life - Day 21 Future

Author: Ken N McIsaac

Future 

Our vision for the future might hold one of these two possibilities. We could be dreaming about some enjoyment that hopefully lies ahead, or worried about some looming hardship.

Often the enjoyment in our lives is put on hold, we just need more time and money. We just have to work a little harder. Too many things can go wrong with this and we may not be able to do it later for various reasons. If we put off our enjoyment of life until later, it may take longer than we think, or it may never happen the way that we envisioned it.

We should not throw away our precious todays in anticipation of good times, not when we can have days of enjoyment and satisfaction now. Perhaps it’s time for an examination of our style of life and our wants and needs, now and for the future. It is good to imagine a happy future and make plans for it but we should not put off the happiness we can have today. So why not live each day as if the future plans may not materialize.

“We are never living, but only hoping to live; and, looking forward always to being happy, it is inevitable that we never are so.” - Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)

Worrying over something that is going to happen will make our lives stressful and less happy.

After examining an upcoming difficult or seemingly disastrous situation, if there is something that can be done to improve on it, do it. If not, and the event cannot or should not be avoided, then accept the fact and start thinking about something else. Worrying about it will not only be a total waste of time but it will increase anxiety, and things will seem even worse than they really are.

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, not to anticipate troubles, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.” Buddha (BC)

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You can buy the full 32 Days from Ken N McIsaac here.

32 Keys About Life - Day 20 Stress

Author: Ken N McIsaac

Stress

Stress is predominant in our society. Most of us are running here, running there, doing something at high speed, seldom relaxing. And they thought they were living busy lives a hundred years ago!

“This strange disease of modern life with its brisk hurry and divided aims.” - Matthew Arnold (1822-1888)

To improve upon this stressful way of life we can reassess our values and routines. If possible, we can eliminate some of those things which are not necessary to a contented life, and we can slow down. Achieving a stress free way of life will help keep us healthier and living longer and make our time here a lot more fun.

You can often visualize your way out of tension by picturing yourself in a very calm, peaceful, serene setting, in complete easy control. Picture it clearly and hold on to it. You can use your imagination in many different ways to help siphon off tensions - when at the bathroom sink or in the shower, let all your worries, stresses, anxieties, run down the drain with the dirty soapy water.

When you start to feel stress coming on, immediately try relaxing the muscles and fill your mind with thoughts of peace, tranquility, confidence, strength, happiness. Repeat these and other calming words to yourself now and again. Take notice of, and enjoy your surroundings all through the day. Look at, listen to, smell the limitless variety of things natural everywhere.

Make a determined effort to please someone. Offer help, agree, smile. This is much easier than trying to impress others, or trying to be perfect. Thinking of, and interacting with others, can be very soothing on the nerves, particularly if you expect no credits.

“The American over-tension and jerkiness and breathlessness and intensity and agony of expression are primarily social, and only secondarily physiological, phenomena. They are bad habits, nothing more or less, bred of custom or example, born of imitation of bad models and the cultivation of false personal ideals.” - William James (1842-1910) .

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You can buy the full 32 Days from Ken N McIsaac here.

32 Keys About Life - Day 19 Values

Author: Ken N McIsaac

Values

Most of us go through life always wanting more and better. Being in this state of constant desire does not coexist with peace of mind.

It is normal to want better lives for ourselves and our families, but we have to balance our goals with the cost. How much does this promotion, vacation, new purchase, cost in terms of real life? How many extra hours of stress and anxiety, now and later, go into getting it?

With the fast paced living that surrounds us it’s difficult to avoid being swept in. Too many of us are rushing through our daily lives to do more and to acquire more. We are becoming less interested in our fellow humans as friends and more as competitors as we try to keep up or to possess more material goods.

There is a big push in this social direction by corporations and their marketers. They are in business to make money for their managements and shareholders, so this will likely continue if there is not much resistance. Advertising is a powerful persuasion to buy things we may not need or maybe not even really want. The overall success of marketing has created a want addiction for many consumers.

As more and more we come to falsely regard material gains as success we are missing out on the true values of life. Money really is quite necessary in our lives, but its value should not be worshiped. The good things in life are free, life itself, friendship, nature. Whatever we do possess, in the end we must leave it all behind.

“The cost of a thing is the amount of what I call life, which is required to be exchanged for it immediately or in the long run.” - Henry Thoreau (1817-1862)

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You can buy the full 32 Days from Ken N McIsaac here.

32 Keys About Life - Day 18 Responsibility

Author: Ken N McIsaac

Responsibility

Our lives are only as good as we decide to make them. As with any worthwhile project we should make short and long range plans. We should follow them through, reviewing and altering them as we go. It is our design and determination that decide our destiny, and this is our responsibility.

When things go wrong we should not be quick to blame anyone. This can easily become a habit supplying us with ready excuses for our own mistakes and problems. Let’s examine others’ and our own actions and then decide how we should proceed with our own efforts.

“Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.” - Thomas Kempis (1380-1471)

We should make a special effort to be what we want to be, giving consideration to what others might wish of us. We must do our duties, complete our tasks, be kind and honest. When there is the temptation for an immediate pleasure that may be harmful to us or to others, we must resist. Where there are injustices we should speak up.

“It is not alone what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable.” - Moliere (1622-1673)

We are individuals and should do what we believe in, taking responsibility for our actions. A good critical look at ourselves is very helpful in determining what needs changing. It may also reveal much good to be proud of.

Not in the clamor of the crowded street,
Not in the shouts and plaudits of the throng,
But in ourselves, are triumph and defeat.
- Henry Longfellow (1807-1882)

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You can buy the full 32 Days from Ken N McIsaac here.

32 Keys About Life - Day 17 Fear

Author: Ken N McIsaac

Fear

So much to fear - if we allow it.

There are common fears that can invade our lives, lessen our wellbeing, and rob us of happiness. A general fear of failing in life can be the result of fear in one or more areas such as with personal health or workplace conditions. A common fear is social anxiety.

There are many niche fears that are more confined such as fear of heights, closed spaces, mice, strangers, public speaking and more.

Fear tears at our insides and causes us to feel inadequate and panicky. It can be uncomfortable to horrifying and uncontrolled can lead to a lower quality of life. In our endeavor to be happier we should consider learning more about fear, its causes and possible ways of dealing with it. Fire up your search engine or head for the library and learn more about fear.

One suggestion offered through the ages is that it is not an event that causes fear, but it is the fear of that event. If it is in our thoughts then it is something that we might control by altering our ideas, attitudes, or actions.

“For it is not death or hardship that is a fearful thing, but the fear of death or hardship.” - Epictetus (55-135)

Try to free yourself from guilt or shame. If you have erred badly correct it or forget it. Talk it over with a friend. Look for good in yourself and in others. Avoid large doses of hyped bad news reporting and look for some good stories.

Criticism by peers at work or school is a real cause of fear yet it may indicate the attackers’ emotional problems. They may need to put others down in order to feel adequate. Bullying is harmful and unacceptable, and it should be discussed with friends, family, and others that can provide help or suggestions.

There is only one you, unique and deserving of a good life, so feel good about yourself just the way you are.

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You can buy the full 32 Days from Ken N McIsaac here.

32 Keys About Life - Day 16 Kindness

Author: Ken N McIsaac

Kindness

Kindness to others is usually a rewarding experience, both to the recipient and the giver. When we are kind to someone we do not need to be thanked since we are instantly rewarded.

Doing a favor or showing understanding and compassion just feels good. To do so for praise or other benefit is more of a trade and does not have the same effect. To be kind without taking credit for it is a true unselfish act of goodness. Not only are we performing a kindness, but we are doing ourselves a big favor by reducing our stresses and improving our well being.

“The measure of a person’s real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out.” - Thomas Macaulay (1800-1859)

Many philosophers and others have stated this important relationship between our feelings toward others and the way we feel. By thinking of other people, we get our thoughts away from ourselves. This is particularly helpful if we find that we are too often occupied with self-pity, anger, or anxieties. It can work miracles.

Charity is more than a tax deduction.

“If you lend money, it is uncertain whether you shall be repaid; but if you bestow alms, although they may be small, your return will be a hundred fold.” - Saskya Pandita (1182-1251)

So do yourself a favor and be kind every day.

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You can buy the full 32 Days from Ken N McIsaac here.

32 Keys About Life - Day 15 Appreciation

Author: Ken N McIsaac

Appreciation

A better life has been achieved when we are no longer trying to achieve a better life. It means that we are content, as we should be, with ourselves and what we have. To be anxious for more or to envy someone else’s life or possessions is self-defeating. We are then in a constant state of frustration, always hoping and waiting for more happiness.

So what is important? Enough, not more.

“Think of what you have rather than of what you lack. Of the things you have, select the best and then reflect how eagerly you would have sought them if you did not have them.” - Marcus Aurelius (121-180)

There is, here and now, much to appreciate. There is life itself with friends, family, and everything that is naturally before us. We just have to look around and take it in. Perhaps it is time to make a list of all the good things we have to grateful for.

Are there people in your life that you would miss dearly if they were not here? When you go for a walk don’t you see, hear, and smell, many things to appreciate and feel nice about? Like the flowers, trees, birds, and the clouds in the sky. A caterpillar crossing the sidewalk or your neighbor waving. A cute pup or child enthusiastically enjoying that moment in life.

“Whether in favor or in humiliation, be not dismayed. Let your eyes leisurely look at the flowers blooming and falling in your courtyard. Whether you leave or retain your position, take no care. Let your mind wander with the clouds folding and unfolding beyond the horizon.” - Hung Tzu-ch’eng (1593-1665)

It just makes good sense to be satisfied and at peace with yourself and others, and to enjoy life now.

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You can buy the full 32 Days here.

32 Keys About Life - Day 14 Worrying About the Past

Author: Ken N McIsaac

Worrying About the Past

We all make mistakes. Sometimes they are very bad and cause ourselves and others much worry and suffering. We can be depressed and burdened with regret for many years, never forgiving ourselves, never forgetting our actions. Carrying on in this way is another big mistake, disturbing our lives in very unpleasant and painful ways.

It is not necessary. Worrying about something that has already happened is a complete waste of time if you just keep wishing that it hadn’t happened. There is absolutely nothing you can do to change it.

“We ought not to look back unless it is to derive useful lessons from past errors, and for the purpose of profiting by dear-brought experience.” - George Washington (1732-1779)

Perhaps there is some way to make amends and that should still be a consideration. If not then regard it as a learning experience. Review what has happened enough to draw conclusions about what to do, and what not do, in the future. But then forget the stupid or bad thing you did and start thinking about something else.

Negative thoughts about the past will keep coming back again and again unless there are other positive or grateful thoughts occupying your mind. Begin feeding your brain with encouraging and fun ideas especially when that ‘thing’ from the past returns. Be generous, kind and forgiving to others and yourself.

“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” - Alexander Graham Bell

You no longer have yesterday; you only have today and tomorrows.

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You can buy the full 32 Days from Ken N McIsaac here.

32 Keys About Life - Day 13 Purpose

Author: Ken N McIsaac

Purpose

Many of us at one time or another have wondered what we are doing here. This can be both at times when we are having hectic, stress filled days, or at a standstill in a fog of boredom. We have temporarily lost sight of our purpose.

On average, the hours we work constitute a relatively small portion of our life and should not control our well being. If you are too tired or do not have enough time to do anything after hours, then your daily routine may be out of balance and may need to be adjusted. Your work may be too difficult or unsuitable, or you may need to change your routine. Perhaps a simpler lifestyle would change your focus on your work and life in general.

To obtain a healthy purpose in our lives we need a good balance of our time for work, goals, recreation, and relaxation. The daily routine should be examined, a plan established, and then it should be followed.

We can make good use of our time away from work to increase our knowledge of things and life, to work at a hobby or project, and to just relax. There may not be much room to maneuver, say if you are a working single parent, but perhaps a few hours can be found during your hectic week to do something that you want to do.

Most of us use only a small percentage of our capabilities and can do so much more. Learning new things gives us a feeling of achievement. Reading nonfiction books increases our knowledge and teaches us new skills, but it should be enjoyable. In undertaking a new after hours project do something different from what you do all day at work. Start with something small and complete it, so as not to get discouraged and to get a feeling of achievement when it is done.

If you are too busy and under a lot of stress, a more passive and relaxing undertaking might be in order, at least to start with. A day a week, or a few hours on certain days, should be set aside for your favorite enjoyment. Walking, listening to nice music, reading a novel, or leisurely working in the yard. Avoid news or entertainment that is saturated with disasters and violence. But whatever you do, don’t sit and stew.

“When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind.” - Seneca

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You can buy the full 32 Days from Ken N McIsaac here.

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