The 10 Rules of Change

Self-change is tough, but it’s not impossible, nor does it have to be traumatic, according to change expert Stan Goldberg, Ph.D. Here, he lays out the 10 principles he deems necessary for successful change.

My mother died on Christmas day of a massive heart attack. I later counted 15 self-help books on her shelves, but found each offered only broad ideas; none provided the specifics necessary to save her life.

Like my mother, many of us want to change but simply don’t know how to do it. After 25 years of researching how people change, I’ve discovered 10 major principles that encompass all self-change strategies. I’ve broken down those principles and, using one example—a man’s desire to be more punctual—I demonstrate strategies for implementing change in your own life.

Read on…

with love & gratitude

What the hell am I doing wrong?!

Written by Kassie Wright

My hair’s a mess! Can’t find any clothes to wear! The kids aren’t getting up! The dogs are chasing the cat! And what the hell are you laughing at?

And Joe Vitale says I attracted it! ( Time to read some good books! I thought.) Then I caught myself. I became aware . I laughed. ( What just happened?) Catch yourself. Change your thoughts. Change your life.

…then I found a hair tie. And my jeans. The kids made it to the bus on time. The cat outsmarted the dogs again. 8am and all is quiet and miraculously sane again.

‘Forgive me for my thoughts’, I said to Mocha, my puppy. Poured a cup of tea. Grabbed my book. And sat by the fire.

Something’s not right. I am not usually stressed. What it is that I need to learn? I sat for a moment, quietly.

I felt guilty, knowing that I should be dressed and all set by 9, not just getting ready. But I allow myself this hour each morning, to read. And no, I don’t feel like getting up at 6 to squeeze my time in. Just one little idiocyncrasy that I don’t feel the need to change.

Yes, I attracted this, now that I think about it. I did leave the rollers in too long. And my closet is a mess. I let the kids stay up late last night. And I stayed up late too. That’s it. Nothing too traumatic. We all have mornings like this, from time to time. Don’t we? It’s minor. Trivial.

But I can’t stop thinking about other things we attract. Like wars, car accidents, fights, etc. I am not responsible for this stuff! Am I? No, it’s way too big to even think I had a part in it. Joe Vitale is stretching the Law of Attraction way too far! How on earth could we be responsible for that?!

I need another tea. A few more fleeting thoughts. Wait a minute. If I wasn’t aware of my stupidity this morning, my day would continue totally chaotic. It happened before. Has this happened to you too? Being able to stand back and laugh. Just be aware of what was happening…was enough to control it. Amazing!

Just by being aware. For a second. And being able to laugh it off. Change emotions. Then suddenly everything changes. It’s like putting on a frantic face, and experiencing chaos. Change it to a happy face, and start laughing and enjoying yourself again. Send out negative vibes, or energy, and you get back the same. Like a magnet. Or a mirror.

Now, I’m beginning to see what Joe Vitale means. Yes, of course I attracted this morning. And changed my energy. And am enjoying it better now because of my awareness to change it.(And I thought I was open minded!)

Now that I am on the right track again, explain to me how we attracted the worlds’ mess! The recession, the economic recovery, the wars, the political drauma, the sadness, the sickness, etc. Now that’s hard to swallow. Yet I’ve read it from many books that say we are to blame. Even scientists back this up. Are they gone crazy? I’m educated too. You don’t expect me to believe this… do you?

‘Individual Responsibility’? you say. ( For the worlds’ collective actions? C’mon now, I wasn’t born yesterday!)Now hear me out. As we each overspend, it creates a global economic epidemic. Through this spending atmosphere, fear spreads and worry sets in. People get scared. Law of Attraction puts forth what we send the Universe. More fear. Fear turns into war, as we hoard what we have. This insanity causes wars. And the spiral continues.( Holy shit? It does make sense. It could happen. But, na’ I wouldn’t say we created it.)

What if I became responsible for my actions. And took heed in my thoughts and words. And really did buy into this Law of Attraction stuff. Always got out of bed happy. Spread this happiness on to my kids. They could share it with the bus students. And their friends at school. The teachers could catch this happiness and bring it home to their families. Maybe get on their ipods and emails and spread it a little further.

What if we made a promise to ourselves, for one day, yup, just one. There would be no complaining, no gossip, no criticizing, no ridiculing, no bullying, …nothing negative. Only smiling, thinking positive, singing, trying, giving, empathizing, giving back, allowing, accepting, …all those positive happy feelings. How many people could one person impact? Just think.

It gives me goose bumps to know I could affect hundreds of lives indirectly a day. Even if I decided to stay indoors today. And what if you decided to do it with me? Maybe we could get a few friends to join us. Maybe I could write an article about this ‘happiness for one day’. Maybe you could share it with your group. Just maybe it may impact more than we know. Just maybe this positive energy would circulate the globe.

People would spread it even further. They would be sharing smiles and laughter. There would be love and peace. They would be too busy having fun to worry about lack. There would be plenty to go around for everyone. There would be no arguments because people would be happy. There would be no jobless, because people would be helping each other. There would be no crime, because people expressed gratitude and were giving back. There would be no place for war, only peace. I would want to be responsible for that. Wouldn’t you?

Now I could picture that scenario if we all worked together and spread happiness. Oh yes, I know you would want recognition for this as well. And Joe Vitale will be right, we did create it. And it began with you and me. Now that’s amazing! I know you’d want to take credit for that!

And it all began with the realization, and I had to ask, ‘What the hell am I doing wrong?’. Humbly, spreading the wrong thoughts, I think. I can change that. We all can. One person at a time.
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‘Obama’ Spoofs Beyonce’s Single Ladies Video

All day I’ve been smiling and thinking about how wonderful yesterday’s inauguration of America’s first African American president was! Today I’ve been reviewing all sorts of videos on You Tube about President Barack Obama and came across this really cute one which made me smile a big smile. It’s a great spoof on Beyonce’s Single Ladies video but with Barack Obama. It definitely kept my frequency up. I hope it will keep your positive thinking power up as well.

Enjoy.

If you’re not able to see the video click here .

Update:

I found another President Barack Obama spoof but this time it’s to TI’s ‘You Can Have Whatever You Like’.

Gratitude is like Karma and Attitude

Gratitude is like karma and so to attitude, essential parts of the formula for authentic success. What you give out comes back to you. Today, I was instrumental in the process of someone getting a dream job in an organization. I was always grateful when she worked with me. Today, I got from her the gratitude of, “thank you so much”. My gratitude of thank you came back to me when she told me, “thank you”. Gratitude is like karma and so to is your attitude. While working with me, she extended a positive attitude. Gratitude of thanks has not only been further extended to me now, as she achieves her new position, but gratitude has come full circle like karma, back to her through her gratitude and positive attitude. Gratitude is therefore like karma and so to her positive attitude for getting a perfect job.

Gratitude is like karma and so to is attitude. They all come back full circle. Therefore, extending gratitude and positive attitude are like good karma and  will only bring authentic success.