The 10 Rules of Change

Self-change is tough, but it’s not impossible, nor does it have to be traumatic, according to change expert Stan Goldberg, Ph.D. Here, he lays out the 10 principles he deems necessary for successful change.

My mother died on Christmas day of a massive heart attack. I later counted 15 self-help books on her shelves, but found each offered only broad ideas; none provided the specifics necessary to save her life.

Like my mother, many of us want to change but simply don’t know how to do it. After 25 years of researching how people change, I’ve discovered 10 major principles that encompass all self-change strategies. I’ve broken down those principles and, using one example—a man’s desire to be more punctual—I demonstrate strategies for implementing change in your own life.

Read on…

with love & gratitude

Dr. Rick Schaefer Gives a Tip on Finding Daily Happiness With One Goal A Day

Dr. Rick Schaefer, author of Extreme Thought Makeover, explains how to experience more happiness every single day with one simple activity.

(EMAILWIRE.COM, February 22, 2010 ) Milwaukee, WI - Dr. Rick Schaefer, author of the very popular program Extreme Thought Makeover, began “Sometimes, the pressures of our professional and personal lives can start to feel a little overwhelming, can they not? Between work and family and school, life can get a little hectic. This is why many people tend to find themselves overtaken by negative habits such as procrastination, or find themselves simply overtaken by negative thoughts. To turn your life around and really find joy, you need you change your outlook immediately. One of the best ways to find a fulfilling and happy life is to change your thinking and keep your mind full of positive energy and thoughts at any given moment in the day. It is very trendy these days to be stressed or depressed, but these thoughts are anything but productive.”

“One of the key ways to finding joy lies in a very simple principle: The law of attraction. The law of attraction basically says that you will receive what you put out into the universe, as in, positive thoughts and aspirations will draw in positive experiences and rewards, while negative thoughts and energy will draw in negative experiences and unwanted results. If you are on a quest to find happiness through positive thinking, here is a quick tip that will put you on the right path towards achieving this goal:”

“Find Happiness With One Goal a Day. Here is a quick way to begin your journey towards happiness and fulfillment. Every morning when you wake up, before you get out of bed, think of one goal that you would like to see fulfilled that day. Maybe you want to achieve something really out of the ordinary at work, or maybe you just want to tack on an extra fifteen minutes on your daily walk with Fido. Whatever this goal is, promise yourself that you will achieve it. Here is a bonus tip: the sooner you finish this goal, the better. The feeling of achievement is a powerful one, and getting a sense of fulfillment early in the day can help to create a positive tone and energy for the rest of your day. Who knows? You may even find yourself completing two, three, or ten goals before the day is through!”

Dr. Schaefer concluded “The road to personal fulfillment and joy is a simple one which requires attention and practice, practice, practice. But if you are willing to fully commit yourself to practicing and to these goals, you will soon see an increase in your sense of personal happiness.”

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Nichols: Achieve your goals ‘no matter what’

by Kathy Chaney

You’ve set goals for yourself, only to have them deferred, stomped on or watered down. You’ve looked for others to bring you through without realizing the onus is on you. Developing a “no matter what” mindset is the key to “non-negotiable” goals, according to life coach and best-selling author Lisa Nichols.

Nichols remembered when all her goals were negotiable, starting back in her high school years. She learned in her teen years to love herself first, realize that mistakes would be made, but to forgive herself.

As she matured and began to gain more control of her life, a “no matter what” mindset was born, she said, referring to the title of her recently released book.

“It was understanding what my life looked like when all my goals were negotiable, when all my goals were optional. It was recognizing how I felt when I sat in the space of worry, doubt, victim and concern. It didn’t feel good and I wasn’t ready to commit a lifetime to that experience,” Nichols told the Defender.

Nichols, the founder of Motivating the Masses and CEO of Motivating the Teen Spirit, LLC, is described by her peers as “The Breakthrough Specialist.” She regularly holds transformational workshops that has reached more than one million adults and thousands of teens. She has appeared on various television shows, including The Oprah Winfrey Show, Extra, Larry King Live, and Starting Over, and has penned two Chicken Soup for the Soul books.

In December she will spread more of her motivational advice on the Women Entertainment cable channel. Her new weekly, yet-to-be titled reality-based show will center around helping women turn a breakdown into a breakthrough. Several episodes have already been shot, she said.

“Most of us don’t realize that we’ve unconsciously allowed our goals to be negotiable and optional. A ‘no matter what’ mindset means you’ve taken every other option off the table except hitting the mark. When you take on that mindset, you actually begin to pick up speed, you move with more velocity. You move with more certainty and more aggression. It’s a positive aggression and you become a force of nature to be reckoned with,” said Nichols.

Always following God is key, however, realizing the power you possess and knowing you are the answer to your problems is essential to any breakthrough, the life coach said, referencing an “ah-ha” moment in her life.

“Each time I looked at my problems, I looked for the answer and realized that I was my answer. When I learned how to love Lisa, treat Lisa and set boundaries and ask for what I need, all of a sudden I became an example. I became a permission slip for other girls to do it. I found my own rhythm, and when I did I felt better as a teenager and as a woman,” she said.

“My rhythm was mine and it was perfect. That was a huge liberation for me. I had to give myself permission to make mistakes and to forgive myself quicker. That was key for me. I wasn’t going to hold myself hostage to guilt, shame, blame and regret. That could last a lifetime. I had to be willing to give myself a lifetime of something better than that,” said Nichols.

Nichols will host a workshop in Chicago Saturday from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. at the Marriott hotel near Midway Airport, 6520 S. Cicero Ave.

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