“Why Can’t I Ever Get What I Want?” Revisiting the Importance of Self Acceptance

Margaret Ruth

Author, Columnist, Intuition & Psychic Expert, Popular Radio Psychic

I have been getting a fair amount of questions lately that concern the issue of self-worth. Actually, the main questions I’ve been getting are such things as: Why can’t I get what I want? Why do I only get parts of what I want? For many, the source issue is a lack of perfect self acceptance, and that is why I think of these as self-worth problems. It is such an important issue, and such a difficult one to deal with, that it is worth a revisit from time to time.

How you feel about you, at a very deep level, has the power to affect everything in your life: relationships, work, money, health. Low self-esteem is an obvious problem in some people, but even fairly emotionally balanced people can be affected by feelings of not being good enough that still occur at their most inner level. I meet with many people who cannot understand why they can’t bring into their life the love they want, or the success they want, or the body they want, despite following whatever psychological, educational or New Age program they have been rigorously following (”But, Margaret Ruth, I am following the Law of Attraction! Why isn’t it working?”).

The metaphysical problem with these residual self-invalidating beliefs is that it is not possible to accept any more love, trust, understanding, appreciation and acceptance than we are willing to give ourselves. It is actually not possible for our human psyche to accept anything more than the self-given level. I know I repeat myself there, but this is one of those immutable Laws of the Universe, so I like to repeat those for the slow learners like myself. So, if you still have an active critical part of you that refuses to acknowledge, at every level, that you are lovable, valuable and fine — just as you are today — you will continue to only get parts of what you want in your life.

How do you know if you still hold questions about your own validity (other than not feeling like you get the love, health, wealth, whatever, you would like)? Start noticing how you react to situations and people. Do you feel like you have to justify yourself? Do you get defensive? Do you get attached to whether you get praise (or love or appreciation or gold stars)? Do you feel easily slighted or hurt by other people’s actions or words? Are you afraid, even just a little bit, that other people can hurt you? These are just a few ways to notice if what other people opinions of you have become more important than your opinion of you.

If you still carry lingering doubts about your own validity and worth, this is the best possible place to start if you want to feel happier with how your life is turning out. The first step in clearing out your more critical or defensive parts is to become perfectly self aware. You can start noticing the entire dialog that goes in your inner landscape. This means being aware of not only your thoughts, but the underlying chatter, your emotions, your assumptions, your beliefs and your reactions.

When starting down the road of improved self awareness, we Mystics always recommend doing it without judging yourself, or labeling what you are feeling and thinking as bad or good. This evaluative labeling will stop you cold and also adds to self criticism while you’re at it (not productive). Nonjudgmental awareness of the entire symphony that is being played throughout the complexity of your inner psyche will get you halfway there; I promise. It isn’t easy, but it is important

That is the first step and the best step. Once you notice the parts of you that undermine you with defensiveness or criticism, you can start retuning those parts to sing a different song. I’ll write on that later.

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Source

Movie: The Shift - Dr. Wayne Dyer

There are 12 parts to Dr. Dyer’s ‘The Shift’.  I will try to put them up on CYFpower’s YouTube channel, so subscribe to see them all.  Please comment!

About The Shift:

From the creators of You Can Heal Your Life: The Movie comes a compelling portrait of three modern lives in need of new direction and new meaning. In his first-ever movie (written by Kristen Lazarian and directed by Michael Goorjian), Wayne Dyer explores the spiritual journey in the second half of life when we long to find the purpose that is our unique contribution to the world. The powerful shift from the ego constructs we are taught early in life by parents and society—which promote an emphasis on achievement and accumulation—are shown in contrast to a life of meaning, focused on serving and giving back.

Read more…

Part 1

Visit CYFpower’s YouTube channel. Subscribe to see them all.  Please comment!

with love & gratitude

Abraham Hicks: The Vortex - Are you a cooperative component

A few of you have been asking us about the Vortex.  We found this great video by Abraham-Hicks explaining it for you.

Enjoy!

Notes:

1. Imagine that Source is holding everything you want
2. Everything you have ever asked for is because you think you will feel better having it.  What you really want is alignment.
3. You all are asking and Source is answering always.
4. Try and understand the process as everything is working out just the way as it should.
5. Be willing to move in the direction of what you want and no longer continue to beat the drum of what caused you to ask for it. eg When you are struggling with money, you’re asking all day, all day, all day, for more money.  But as you continue to beat the drum of ‘I don’t have enough’ and ‘It’s not fair that he’s got too much,’ as you keep beating those drums you are depriving yourself of the vibrational attitude that is necessary for you to get what you are asking for.
6. You are the only one that can get into your vortex which is the vibrational escrow/reality that is called the vortex. Everything that you have asked for is there.
7. When you ask for something, it is there and summoned to the vortex, the question is, are you a cooperative component to be being drawn into your vortex.
8. You’ve got to want to be in the vortex more than anything.
9. When you’re in the vortex you’re in the magical swirl where you get everything you want.
10. Train yourself into the vortex by talking about what you want more than what you don’t want, be optimistic rather than pessimistic.
11. You have to fine tune your manifestation.

What the hell am I doing wrong?!

Written by Kassie Wright

My hair’s a mess! Can’t find any clothes to wear! The kids aren’t getting up! The dogs are chasing the cat! And what the hell are you laughing at?

And Joe Vitale says I attracted it! ( Time to read some good books! I thought.) Then I caught myself. I became aware . I laughed. ( What just happened?) Catch yourself. Change your thoughts. Change your life.

…then I found a hair tie. And my jeans. The kids made it to the bus on time. The cat outsmarted the dogs again. 8am and all is quiet and miraculously sane again.

‘Forgive me for my thoughts’, I said to Mocha, my puppy. Poured a cup of tea. Grabbed my book. And sat by the fire.

Something’s not right. I am not usually stressed. What it is that I need to learn? I sat for a moment, quietly.

I felt guilty, knowing that I should be dressed and all set by 9, not just getting ready. But I allow myself this hour each morning, to read. And no, I don’t feel like getting up at 6 to squeeze my time in. Just one little idiocyncrasy that I don’t feel the need to change.

Yes, I attracted this, now that I think about it. I did leave the rollers in too long. And my closet is a mess. I let the kids stay up late last night. And I stayed up late too. That’s it. Nothing too traumatic. We all have mornings like this, from time to time. Don’t we? It’s minor. Trivial.

But I can’t stop thinking about other things we attract. Like wars, car accidents, fights, etc. I am not responsible for this stuff! Am I? No, it’s way too big to even think I had a part in it. Joe Vitale is stretching the Law of Attraction way too far! How on earth could we be responsible for that?!

I need another tea. A few more fleeting thoughts. Wait a minute. If I wasn’t aware of my stupidity this morning, my day would continue totally chaotic. It happened before. Has this happened to you too? Being able to stand back and laugh. Just be aware of what was happening…was enough to control it. Amazing!

Just by being aware. For a second. And being able to laugh it off. Change emotions. Then suddenly everything changes. It’s like putting on a frantic face, and experiencing chaos. Change it to a happy face, and start laughing and enjoying yourself again. Send out negative vibes, or energy, and you get back the same. Like a magnet. Or a mirror.

Now, I’m beginning to see what Joe Vitale means. Yes, of course I attracted this morning. And changed my energy. And am enjoying it better now because of my awareness to change it.(And I thought I was open minded!)

Now that I am on the right track again, explain to me how we attracted the worlds’ mess! The recession, the economic recovery, the wars, the political drauma, the sadness, the sickness, etc. Now that’s hard to swallow. Yet I’ve read it from many books that say we are to blame. Even scientists back this up. Are they gone crazy? I’m educated too. You don’t expect me to believe this… do you?

‘Individual Responsibility’? you say. ( For the worlds’ collective actions? C’mon now, I wasn’t born yesterday!)Now hear me out. As we each overspend, it creates a global economic epidemic. Through this spending atmosphere, fear spreads and worry sets in. People get scared. Law of Attraction puts forth what we send the Universe. More fear. Fear turns into war, as we hoard what we have. This insanity causes wars. And the spiral continues.( Holy shit? It does make sense. It could happen. But, na’ I wouldn’t say we created it.)

What if I became responsible for my actions. And took heed in my thoughts and words. And really did buy into this Law of Attraction stuff. Always got out of bed happy. Spread this happiness on to my kids. They could share it with the bus students. And their friends at school. The teachers could catch this happiness and bring it home to their families. Maybe get on their ipods and emails and spread it a little further.

What if we made a promise to ourselves, for one day, yup, just one. There would be no complaining, no gossip, no criticizing, no ridiculing, no bullying, …nothing negative. Only smiling, thinking positive, singing, trying, giving, empathizing, giving back, allowing, accepting, …all those positive happy feelings. How many people could one person impact? Just think.

It gives me goose bumps to know I could affect hundreds of lives indirectly a day. Even if I decided to stay indoors today. And what if you decided to do it with me? Maybe we could get a few friends to join us. Maybe I could write an article about this ‘happiness for one day’. Maybe you could share it with your group. Just maybe it may impact more than we know. Just maybe this positive energy would circulate the globe.

People would spread it even further. They would be sharing smiles and laughter. There would be love and peace. They would be too busy having fun to worry about lack. There would be plenty to go around for everyone. There would be no arguments because people would be happy. There would be no jobless, because people would be helping each other. There would be no crime, because people expressed gratitude and were giving back. There would be no place for war, only peace. I would want to be responsible for that. Wouldn’t you?

Now I could picture that scenario if we all worked together and spread happiness. Oh yes, I know you would want recognition for this as well. And Joe Vitale will be right, we did create it. And it began with you and me. Now that’s amazing! I know you’d want to take credit for that!

And it all began with the realization, and I had to ask, ‘What the hell am I doing wrong?’. Humbly, spreading the wrong thoughts, I think. I can change that. We all can. One person at a time.
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Source

Welcome 2010!

2010 is here and I feel great!  I am open, able and available to all the fabulous experiences the universe has to offer me. I know that 2010 will be a wonderful year for all those who believe.

To start my year off right, I am watching The Secret (Extended Edition) while writing my list of grateful things in my life. Have you started yours?

There are a few things I will be doing more of this year, the most important being visualizations.  I truly believe that visualizations help you attract what you want to experience.  One important thing to remember about visualizations is to only focus on the end result of all the experience that you want to have.

So to all my readers, I look forward to sharing more positive thinking power experiences, article and videos with you.  Please comment often and remember to Change Your Frequency!

Thank you
CYF

How to Use The Secret in Your Life, Starting Today

The Secret and What The Bleep Do We Know (Down the Rabbit Hole) since they first came out in 2006 and 2004, respectively. After the concept and digging deeper, I feel I have a deeper understanding of how to successfully incorporate The Secret, or the law of attraction, into your life.

One time, and only once, I went to an online forum that had a section dedicated to The Secret and how to apply the law of attraction in your life. At first I was interested in meeting like-minded people online, but was instead saddened at what I found. 99.9% of the people in the forum were sure the law of attraction was the answer to their life’s prayer, which was to find a way to sit on the couch and wish for money to drop into their mailbox every day. Almost every single user was focused on money, money, and more wealth. Whether or not the secret was truly hidden from lay-people for hundreds of years, thanks to that forum I now understand why it could have been reserved for the intellectually adept - I don’t believe it’s meant or able to work in selfish, greedy, mental environments.

The secret isn’t just about wishing for money folks, so if that’s what you’ve been doing and wonder why you’ve run into failure, all I can say is yer doin’ it wrong [sic]. There is a fundamental difference between greed and wanting good things to come into your life via the law of attraction. That difference is balance combined with a good attitude. The secret must be used in every aspect of the way you think, and it must come in the way of genuine positive thoughts. It’s not easy. Constantly finding the positive in bad situations takes time, patience, and perhaps a certain type of personality or inborn awareness of the world around you. It might not work for everyone, but it is designed to work with anyone.

Before the secret will work for you, you have to understand the concept of energy, and how every single thing, living or not, including the universe itself, is made from the same energy. For those who never studied this concept in school, you might want to do some research if you’re
having a hard time understanding or believing in this concept. Study up on the basics of quantum physics and theories. Find websites that teach the big picture of energy. Not equating what you learn to a god or your religion, at least initially, will help in this learning process. Open your mind up to new possibilities and you will be well on your way to understanding the most basic concepts of the secret.

Put these two together (constant positivity and embracing the concept that everything is ultimately the same energy), and only then will you be in the right frame of mind to start using the secret. It’s not easy at first, but attaining the balance of wants and positivity will happen, and once you give in to a new way of thinking, things will happen quickly.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting money to drop into your lap, but again, that’s not the right frame of mind. You might remember Bob Proctor, one of the commentators in the movie The Secret. In The Secret, he says you attract everything that comes into your life, good or bad, by what you see and feel in your mind. Many people stop at that concept and wonder why the secret doesn’t work. If you watch Proctor’s older seminars, you quickly learn that you can’t just sit on your couch wishing for good things to fall into your lap. You must work towards what you want.

Use the secret to ask for money or a new car, if that’s what you want and be thankful as if you’ve already received it, but at the same time find a way to make money. Whether you’re unemployed, disabled, or a stay at home mom with little time on your hands, there is always a way to work towards making even a little money. Look online for ways to work from home, use the internet for profit (blogs, ad revenue, etc.), or find a hobby that is profitable. But, whatever you choose to take on, you must be passionate about it, and you must feel like the endeavor will succeed beyond your expectations. You can’t be lazy in thoughts or actions. Ask for money, find a way to work towards that goal, and it will happen. And yes, people who are truly in sync with the law of attraction can do less work than those who only think they get it, so doing your homework will pay off immensely.

Read more…

Dreams come true, here’s proof

I don’t believe in New Years Resolutions, I believe in Write-Off Day (December 31st). Write Off Day is a day that serves like the red-line at the end of the quarter in most businesses, where you write off the losses. I wake up December 31st and make a list of all the things I regret, dislike or didn’t love about the year before, then right as the clock strikes midnight, I burn the list. This allows me to start fresh on January 1st, with no expectations, only hopes. I definitely don’t set resolutions that are sure to set me up for failure.

In January 2009 I started a new tradition. I created my first dream board (some people call them vision boards).

Oprah has been promoting the dream board (and the concept of The Secret) for years on her show. A good friend of mine, Lorraine Salgueiro, of Bliss Yoga in Encinitas, was my 2009 dream board coach. Lorraine’s coined phrase is, “Have faith in destiny, the Universe always lines up.” And she is one of those people that just seem to have everything fall into place, always.

The dream board came about by accident. One night she had me over for margarita’s and showed me her dream board. Not only was it filled with beautiful pictures and images of dreams she had for herself, but it made her smile. I saw hope in her eyes, and belief written across her face. She started to pull out old dream boards from years past, and she’d point and say, “This house was on my dream board, I bought it that very year,” or “this was my dream for my yoga studio, it looks just like Bliss doesn’t it?”

I was sold. I left her house and went to Barnes & Noble and bought a ton of magazines. Then I ran to Target and bought a poster board, then I showed back up at her doorstep the next night with a bottle of wine. “Teach me,” I asked her.

We corked the bottle and spent the next few hours tearing up pictures in the magazines, I had far more dreams than the board would hold. She coached me to “be specific,” indicating that the very dreams I would wish for, would in fact manifest themselves.

I narrowed down my pictures and pasted up my dream board. I went home and put it on the bedroom wall so it would be the first thing I would see every day when I woke up. Suffice to say, my dream board images followed me around, while shocking at first I began to laugh as things just seemed to creep up (like a couple kissing on the edge of the ocean with a golf course behind them).

Manifestation, or the concept of “The Secret” says, we create what is in front of us. The belief is that each of us has control over our destiny. If we are having a bad day we have the sole ability to change our attitudes, and not be burdened with the weight of stress and depression.

An example in The Secret book is that If we wish for a good parking space, and truly believe we will get a good parking space, and even go as far as to visualize ourselves pulling into that space, a spot will present itself.

After I created my dream board, I spent the rest of the month reading about the “law of attraction,” “the secret,” and “creating destiny” and realized from example after example, that yes, in fact I am in control of my future. I’d always been the type of person who lived in optimism, but that’s when I began focusing on creating what I wanted. I was careful to send only positive energy and thoughts out to the “Universe” Lorraine always spoke about.

I started to realize that everything I put out, I got back, even the negative…even the bad. Some people call this concept karma.

As the end of 2009 approached, I spoke to my boss at the Examiner about doing a San Diego Top 10 news recap for the year. But something in me ached to share my own personal reflection of 2009…

We create our dreams.

The following is a slide show, beginning with my dream board (created in January) followed by real-life photos taken mostly by accident during the course of 2009. Seeing is believing, dream boards work, and all my dreams came true.

One thing is certain; I will be very careful, and very specific with my dream board in 2010, because I’m incredibly powerful at manifesting what I want. One thing I realized was that as a single girl in the beginning of the year, I had chosen a lot of pictures that represented love, and women in relationships in love. I also realized that every “guy” I put on my dream board, had dark hair and light eyes, no wonder I didn’t wind up with that blonde haired blue eyed boy. Be careful what you wish for – it just may come true.

Lorraine is holding a “building dreams” workshop at Bliss Yoga the first week in January; contact her at 760-632-8330 or blissyogaworld.com to see your dreams to reality in 2010.

For More Info: info@michaelarenee.com Michaela Renee is also the author of Teetering on Disaster

2009 Dream Board “came True” - The best video clips are right here

Positive power

By Shantini Suntharajah
Michael J. Losier will be in Malaysia next week. Photo from MPH Distributors

With the power of positive thinking behind it, this author’s debut book has sold millions.

He’s written a book that has sold in the millions around the world and, yet, he says, “I rarely read. In the last 30 years, I may have read 25 books.”

That’s Michael J. Losier for you. He’s a doer, not a reader, a believer in the power of positive thinking. It has certainly worked for him since the very first book he ever wrote, Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More of What You Want and Less of What You Don’t, became an international best-seller soon after its 2003 release, is currently available in 28 languages – and, ostensibly, one is purchased every two minutes by someone, somewhere in the world!

Since writing Law of Attraction, Losier has been interviewed, on radio, more than once by uber TV talkshow host Oprah Winfrey. He has also hosted his own show on Winfrey’s radio network (Oprah Radio). These days, Losier travels the world conducting highly sought-after seminars and guiding others on how to use the principle that changed his life.

In Law of Attraction, Losier explains that every thought and feeling emits either a positive or negative vibration or energy. The “Law of Attraction”, or universal energy, will respond according to the vibration offered through these thoughts and feelings.

Losier summarises this law with this mantra: “I attract into my life whatever I give my energy, attention and focus to, whether positive or negative”.

His clear and concise explanations have led to him being known as the “how to” guy for the Law of Attraction. Losier doesn’t purport to be the inventor of the theory but says he learned about it two decades ago, mainly from books that were written in the early part of the 20th century.

Earlier this year, Losier released a second book called Law of Connection: The Science of Using NLP to Create Ideal Personal and Professional Relationships. He says he felt compelled to write it when seminar attendees and readers of his first book began approaching him for advice on improving their communication skills. They were keen to learn how he successfully connected with people from vastly differing backgrounds and cultures.

In an e-mail interview, Losier reveals that his training in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) during his days as a project manager lies behind his boundless communication capabilities – “I connect well with people. I rarely have any miscommunication or conflict.”

According to Losier, NLP is essentially the study of human behaviour and communication: “What turns people on or off, what motivates them and how to connect and communicate with all types of people.”

It took Losier six months to finish his second book and he had to do it in between teaching and travelling. Fortunately, a large chunk of the background research on the subject was already at hand. “All the data and information in the book came from my training notes that I have been using for eight years,”

Through careful study of his notes, Losier has concluded that a single focal element separates good communication from bad. “It’s all about rapport,” he says. “When the rapport is not there or the rapport is broken there is little to no connection.”

In essence, Losier’s new book is a step-by-step guide on how to maintain rapport through effective communication.

Before his emergence as a tremendously successful personality in the self-help scene, Losier worked as a project manager with the Canadian Government. He believes his success can be traced back to the code he adheres to. “When I transitioned out of my government job I used the Law of Attraction to attract speaking engagements and clients … it worked well.”

Losier, 47, grew up in New Brunswick in eastern Canada and remembers a calm and gentle childhood. “I spent a lot of time with myself. I was different from the other kids, I was more internal and quiet and very positive.”

As a child, Losier saw himself growing up to be a teacher, an aspiration that has become a reality, though in a more non-conventional way – he now coaches scores of people in his seminars and training courses. “I wanted to be a teacher, a traditional one but this is more fun – teaching personal growth to mostly adults.”

Losier hopes to help as many people as possible through his books and seminars and conducts training courses on the Law of Attraction to spread the word further.

“My main focus with the Law of Attraction is to train others to teach and deliver it through their own seminars. I have certified 127 people from 11 countries.”

So far, Losier has certified eight trainers from Malaysia and is pleased that they have opened a Law of Attraction centre in Kuala Lumpur. “They are an eager and ambitious group and are supporting many people and corporations in the use and application of the Law of Attraction in their personal and business lives.”

Like many others who write self-help books, Losier has his share of detractors. His first book has sometimes been dismissed as a passing fad or, worse, new age “mumbo jumbo”.

Unperturbed, the “how to” guy sticks by what he believes. “I don’t attract them (the sceptics) and it’s okay if they think that. I did not write it for them. I wrote it for people who want to learn more about the Law of Attraction.”

————

Source

Will Smith: Make a choice and the Universe will assit

Listen carefully to what he says about making a choice. It’s very moving! “You really can create what you want.” Will Smith

One of his favorite books:

Abraham Hicks: Setting Your Vibrational Tone

This is one of the best explanations of setting your vibrational tone from Abraham-Hicks I’ve ever heard.

Enjoy!

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